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March 28

So, I have been on Spring Break this week and have kind of been doing a lot of nothing. I went to Manzanita with Leslie on Tuesday and bought a covered wagon lamp at an antique store in Wheeler, and it was snowing. Snowing at the beach! It was crazy. I have been showing it off to a lot of people, and ended up bringing it into a couple of establishments last night so friends could behold its glory. One of these places was Chopsticks, and when I finally got to sing Rich Girl at 1.30am, some ABSOLUTE BUTT punched the covered wagon lamp at the end of my song, sending it crashing to the floor and breaking the yoke. I tracked him down, and he was hiding behind some dude with a tall boy, and I was like "Sir- Hey, Sir." And I had this talk with him that was REALLY frustrating, and he was mean, insulting, and completely unapologetic, and I just wanted to reach into my pocket and give him a penny, and sing him a song with words that I should not write on the internet.

No, I did not do that. I did not insult him, I didn't punch him, or even call the manager. I just said "Well I hope you're happy with the choices you've made," as per Alec Baldwin in the episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon is going out with the Beeper King. He of course affirmed that he was, and sarcastically wished me a GREAT night.

I fixed the wagon, so it's fine now, but I wish that I had immediately plugged it in and been able to sing the state song, surrounded by friends. However, I just left and yelled pretend things I WOULD have said if I could do it over in my car all the way home. It's like when you're in fourth grade and you get made fun of and then you spend the whole rest of the day trying to think of all the things you should have said back in defense. "Oh yeah? Oh YEAH? WELL... I HAVE A CAT. SO THERE." I remember in elementary school all these boys made fun of my lips because I just kind of have big lips, or whatever, and it was like "Jennifer has fat lips! Fat lips!" Which now I look at and I'm like, "Wow, that's so dumb, but still mean?" But all the comebacks I could ever make up had nothing to do with the situation, it was like "YEAH, WELL... I'M GOOD AT MATH." Or "I'M THE YOUNGEST PERSON IN OUR CLASS SO YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE FIRST." Just things that are completely ridiculous. How. Embarrassing. I guess making fun of me must have been pretty rewarding because of all the resulting gems of lame defensive statements.

So now it's like: I am not 9 years old anymore. I don't even wear floral print stretchpants, I control my own haircut, I do what I want, etc. It's like, now that I'm 25, I should be able to tell off some mean dude with class, and wit. But in trying to be Grown Up, I'm like "I'm too good for that. I am way too mature to ask that man if there's anything else he'd like to punch, like his own balls, or a coat rack, or the police - because I could call the police - or maybe when he gets home he can punch his own mom for raising him to be such a delightful guy - because yes, I am sure that he lives with his mom. OH YES, I AM TOO MATURE TO SAY THOSE THINGS." Ahhhhh.

PS, can we talk about the giant particle accelerator in Switzerland and how I totally called this black hole end of the world thing like, months ago? Because I did. SIMULATING THE CONDITIONS OF THE BIG BANG, JUST TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN? I mean, yes, scientifically, it's exciting - Question: What would happen if we recreated the Big Bang in a giant underground multibillion dollar machine? Hypothesis: We think we'll see a bunch of SWEET physics mysteries unlocked and it will just be So Cool. Etc, etc. These scientists in Hawaii are like, "So you could create a black hole that might swallow the earth and then we'll all die - please don't." And the European scientists are like "Yeah but like, it probably won't." PROBABLY. PROBABLY? Quantum physics is so completely out of control - if you have to make up a name for invisible matter and energy just so your math equations work, because otherwise it just doesn't make sense, then are you SURE you want to just try out this machine where anything could happen, including the end of the world? Because that sounds like an excellent decision.

Anyway, I'm going to go back to the woods tomorrow until June, so please, enjoy your spring, and remember to respect covered wagons, where ever you are.

March 8

Tomorrow! Everything! Starts! Happening!

I kind of think I won't be writing anything on the internet until June, but oh, whatever. If you want to get a hold of me while I am gone, you probably should not call my phone. You can try emailing me, and I might look at that once a week.

Yesterday my boss and I went to Chang's on 122nd & Halsey - we stopped at the Goodwill waiting for 11.30am to roll around. I found a Pendleton wool shirt, and I bought it! When I wear it with my overalls, it is like, my favorite outfit. I CAN'T WAIT TO JUST WEAR THE SAME CLOTHES EVERY DAY AND NOT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THE FOREST AND LEARNING AND LOSING MY VOICE AND PUTTING KIDS ON BEHAVIORAL CONTRACTS. AND USING LOVE AND LOGIC. AND SAYING THE WORD OPPORTUNITY EVERY OTHER SENTENCE. DEAR GOD.

I am also excited about wearing 8 layers all the time, and singing, and wearing my red wool staff coat. And giving high fives to everyone. All the time. And not sleeping, at all. And just having coffee for breakfast every day. And having high schoolers clean things with mediocrity. And running around. And trying to be on time. Yes!

I LOVE MY JOB

March 6

So, my session is starting on Sunday. I'm really, really excited for it, in this way that is scary. Like, last night we had our staff potluck and I just got so full of excitement in the car on the way to it. And I stayed up until 1am writing a song to sing to all the high schoolers about why they should join my plants team. And then I woke up at 7am this morning and could not even go back to sleep because I started thinking about work.

The song I wrote is an adaptation of Parentheses by the Blow. I am sure like, 10 of the 250 student leaders in attendence will know what I am referencing. But I don't care! It's such a def jam. It's like "All of my SLs use a cross cut saw. Plants student leaders use cross cut saws. That's why they're raw." You can't deny it!

Liz came back to Oregon this morning. We went to Fred Meyer and I got Carhartt overalls, AND they were 20% off! I was also excited to find that these overalls fit me. Or at least seem to. Also we ate food at this restaurant called Pok Pok and I had shredded pork on top of coconut rice, and it was, frankly, a dream. Today has been a success.

My grandma gave me a necklace she bought at Macy's for St. Patrick's day. It is a shamrock.


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