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DING
June 21
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
Dan and I watched High School Musical the other night, and then High School Musical 2 last night. I'm going to say that I prefer the first one. Ahhhh.
Dan told me to suspend my expectations of reality, and it worked. Zac Efron, your perfect hair, and wholesome singing, and ever-increasing tan, and enthusiastic dance moves!
They are made of gold. Except that by the end of the second movie - he really is too tan.
My life has somewhat been taken over by allergies. Yesterday I went to Oxbow Park and I swear my throat started closing up. I was pretty sure that hayfever does not go
anaphylactic - right? I have a certification to purchase and use an EpiPen. I wonder if I should just buy one, and stab myself in the leg with it. Apparently, it's really exciting.
It's like, the equivalent of all the adrenaline you produce in a year at once. Anyway, I'm going to just get some claritin right now, it is cheaper, and involves no needles.
June 17
Last night I had this dream that my friend Liz was wearing a skirt, and it was red, with big white letters of the word OREGON sewn onto it, but THEN that there were rainbows
interspersed amongst the letters. Please note that the letters weren't actively trying to spell anything out. They just happened to be the letters o, r, e, g, o, and n. With
rainbows! So, in my dream I was really jealous of Liz, and she was dating this boy that I went to elementary school with, which was crazy. And she told me she got the skirt
for $200 at Nordstroms. And I was mad, because I wanted it, but if I got one too then I would be copying her. THANKFULLY, I woke up right then. I was like OH THANK GOD.
The weekend involved several iterations of me celebrating Pride and then suddenly entering zones where sexuality needed to be filtered out of discussion. Such as a picnic with high
school students, involving kickball. And how can we forget, Father's Day. I found it so difficult to have conversations - "So... what have you been doing?" "Oh, uh, you know.
Just hanging out with friends, downtown... Sorry. I have to go, I some parades I need to attend to."
My favorite part of Pride: In the parade, the Rose City Rollers,
the Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers, and - not really an organized group, but I've just decided to call them
this - Gays on Segways. Really, the joy that I feel in my heart when I see the Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers playing is too fabulous to ignore. I've decided that I want
them to play at my wedding.
Also, this year, for my birthday - if anyone wants to rent me a Segway, I will totally love you forever. All I want to do is ride a Segway through the City of Roses, with no
discretion. And by no discretion, I mean no discretion. I'm going to be 26 this year - let's make it memorable.
Other updates: I am buying a portion of a grassfed cow from Washington, in preparation for Meat Party II. I downloaded Movable Type 4.0 today and put it on my website as a fake
blog, which is currently secret. Yes, that's right - you cannot see my secret fake blog. My glasses are still broken, and gasoline is still ridiculous.
I liberated my bicycle last
week with three-foot bolt cutters. I have ridden it a few places. My legs feel stronger than they did last week. I made really awesome cookies last night. I think that's it, for now.
June 10
These days have been so filled with unstructured time that I don't feel like I am doing very well with it. What do you do, when every single second of your
day has been planned and used for the last three months, and then all of a sudden it isn't anymore? It's so weird, and kind of disquieting. I have been to the
Starlight Parade, and I have a little side job where I am helping with some moving, but really - so what. What primarily has been consuming my time is looking
at gas prices escalate, and contemplating the Oil Apocalypse. Which has quickly turned into something that I find endlessly entertaining. Upon chatting with Raleigh on Friday, I have
created a new identity for the Post-Oil world. My name will be Rainbow Knifespirit. I will use the Ikea serrated bread knife in the kitchen to fight for a sack
of rice in the street. Because, did you know? After oil, there will be no more rice. THERE WILL BE NO MORE IKEA. There will be no happiness.
Our shattered economy will leave a discretionless
non-society in its wake, and everyone will be a zombie! And we will flee to the nearest watershed and entrench ourselves with barbed
wire and shotguns. AND cougars will eat your brain.
Um, in case you have not been living in the Pacific Northwest for the last couple of weeks, it has turned into February here. It's seriously 50 degrees in my
house right now. We refuse to turn on the heat because it is, according to the calendar, June. Unfortunately, my nose is also frozen.
Also today after seeing my grandma and putting up more stained glass hummingbirds in her condo, I had a burrito from Shelley's Honkin Huge Burritos in Pioneer
Square, which I really like to have when I can because they may or may not have been my favorite part of high school. Anyway, there is all this crazy news
right now about how there is Salmonella inside of tomatoes? Shelley was actually there today, and she offered me this pico de gallo that she had made herself,
and I totally had it in my burrito, and now I'm like - "Ok, well. It was delicious. And I guess I'm just going to have to get Salmonella if that's what it takes."
ALSO I called Ben the other day to tell him that we are going to Starky's for his birthday, as well as my birthday,
as long as I have anything to say about it. He told me that he was, at the time, looking at a website called ask-elizabeth.com,
which automatically made me wonder in my head, Oh, I wonder if it's Elizabeth Berkley from Saved by the Bell. And then Ben was like "Yeah it's Elizabeth Berkley
from Saved by the Bell!" And I laughed, really loud. Anyway. The website is made of gold, in case you were wondering. I mean, pink on pink comic sans! A FLASH ANIMATION
DIARY OPENED BY A FAIRY VERSION OF ELIZABETH BERKLEY TO REVEAL A RAINBOW. SHUT. UP.
Additionally, when I went to the dentist this
morning I read People magazine in the waiting room and their cover story was about Jodie Sweetin's recovery from meth and recent journey into motherhood. She is totally my age.
AND she has connections to the Olsens. UH!