| This Month |
| 2007 |
SNAP COUNTRY USA
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September 21I think I am getting better! However, my parents went out of town and instead of doing something crazy and really fun I am just watching Flight of the Conchords, so I'm officially in high school again. At least I am watching a show about people from New Zealand.I am going to start working at Outdoor School on Sunday, and then I will have to make up songs about my field study for high schoolers to be attracted to. Like, I am thinking I will make up a song about why plants are cool to Lip Gloss because I think it is the only song I know that high schoolers also know? I'm worried about relating to today's youth because I have not seen High School Musical, and I just barely know what the Umbrella song is. The last two days I have been doing training things at this building out by the airport, talking about bloodborne pathogens and wearing gloves, and then learning about how gloves can be thrown away. Yesterday I had a Tillamook Cheeseburger from Burgerville, and then today I had macaroni and cheese and a beer for lunch and THEN for dessert I had a piece of marionberry pie. The server remarked that I was really going for it. Something that is stressful for me is that I bought a half a pound of bacon at the meat counter the other day and I do not know what to do with it. I mean, I could make it, but I don't think I should eat all of it, right? OH I went to Manzanita with Leslie and Kristen. Kristen brought her dog Dilly Bar, and Dilly Bar drooled her spit on my arm. She is an old rottweiler that is over 100 pounds. Kristen and I fought on the floor because we are both siblings that miss having fighting in our lives. I'm actually not very good at fighting, despite my role as Older Child. While at the coast Leslie took us to Wheeler to see this Mega antique store, and it made me feel dizzy, but then I found two things that I love. One: Skillet Magic, which is a cookbook that was written in 1960, published in Idaho, and it is just for making ridiculous chuck wagon food. All of the recipes involve flour and either bacon fat, butter, or lard. However, it is magical! Two: A platter devoted to the State of Oregon's Centennial in 1959!!! When I came home from the coast there were these guys working on my parents' doors and windows and I made them coffee, and served it to them upon the platter. I think it freaked them out, but I don't care. Did you know that Oregon's 150th anniversary is going to be on February 14th, 2009? I am excited, I will have to have a Really Big Party. |
September 14I'm still not better, every day is the same thing over and over. It makes me think there is something wrong with me, and I even went to the doctor yesterday at the Portland Clinic since everyone I know has been like "God why haven't you gone to the doctor yet?" The doctor poked me and did a bunch of exam stuff, and looked in my eyes with a light, and hit me with that tiny rubber hammer. The clinic took my blood and didn't call me on the phone about it yet so that must mean I don't have a terrible blood disease, right? I think something must be wrong with my eyes but I don't know what it would be. I feel weak and bad every day.If there is something wrong with my brain, I am DEFINITELY hiring a movie crew to document my deteriorating condition. I heard this very sad story on NPR in the spring about this woman lost her husband to a disorder where his brain began developing in reverse, so that he lost all his motor skills and speech and memory bit by bit. They had a little boy together and it was really really sad, and the disorder was very rare so there was really no cure for it. I remember listening to it in the car when I was looking for parking at the MFA and of course it took forever so I listened to the whole thing and I cried. Different sad: Britney on the Video Music Awards - we all know it was a trainwreck. My brother highlighted for me the appropriate way to understand her performance: Bang Bang Bart. It's pretty accurate. I want my brother to have a celebrity gossip blog, because I feel like it would be enormously successful. Something that Ben did today that I am mad about is that he ran over a squirrel with his car. We were driving down the street and there was a squirrel in the middle of the road, and he slowed down a little bit, but the squirrel was frozen in time, and so instead of stopping, he just fucking ran the squirrel over, and then got mad when I told him it was dead. I was like BEN WE MIGHT BE LISTENING TO VANILLA ICE BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OK TO KILL ANIMALS. Then he started telling me about how it was OK because George ran over pigeons on Seinfeld. NO DICE GRANDMA. Bennnn. I'm ALSO mad that he made spaghetti in a deep-sided frying pan instead of a pot. But at least I guess no animals had to die because of that choice. Here in Oregon they are making a big deal about two things in the news. #1: Greg Oden, number one draft pick in the NBA and the Portland Trailblazers' megabasket that they were putting all their eggs into: He's done. BUST A BUCKET, BUST BUST A BUCKET. Microfracture knee surgery prevails, and Oden is out for the entire season. #2: Two deer that a couple were keeping as pets in Molalla have been SEIZED by the state. My dad is mad that they take up room on the front page of the paper. I'm not sure what exactly he thinks should take priority, a stellar publication such as The Oregonian should not have to publish news about the war in Iraq if it doesn't want to.  |
September 9Not much interesting has happened lately, my head has just been feeling weird, if that makes any sense. It is something that makes me mad because I do not want to feel like I am wasting my time, but I am getting really lightheaded and I do not think it is a good idea to go out and drive a car or anything or go hiking in the Silver Falls State Park, which is what I was supposed to do today. Also this weekend I was supposed to attend Music Fest Northwest and maybe leave the house or something.Today my eyes don't feel like they are working right, but I can't say why. Like they don't want to work together or something. I have that line from Kindergarten Cop in my head: Detective John Kimble: I have a headache. Lowell: It might be a tumor. Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor!  Something that Arnold Schwarzenegger and I have in common is a gap tooth. I think that is the only thing we have in common, besides the fact that we are both people. One time when I was 12 or something I had surgery to cut out my maxillary frenum, which they thought was tugging on the gap between my two front teeth, increasing my diastema. Other famous people with gappy tooth face include Madonna and Sandra Day O'Connor. And David Letterman. However, I don't need celebrity commonalities to make me feel good about orthodontics. I used to have a crazy overbite like Lucy in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe but thanks to 5th grade headgear I bite just fine now. If I ever worry about my teeth all I have to do is say "Aslan!" without some British overbite-induced lisp and I remember that I'm OK. |
September 7Yesterday I went over to Leslie's house and I gave her this coffee set that I found in a thrift store in Vancouver. I feel that Vancouver has a very good thrift selection. Well, it isn't a coffee set, exactly, I don't know. What do you call those things? It is a big glass jar with a lid that you could keep a lot of sugar or cottonballs inside of, and a small matching creamer, and a small matching sugar bowl. I saw just the jar in this store and I was like "Oh Kelly, if I had less self-control I would buy this container for five dollars, because it is beautiful." Because the set has gold and pastel blue pine cones painted on the sides, and the jar has a gold metal lid, etc., etc.But then! We saw upon the shelf the matching sugar bowl and creamer with gold-colored greek patterned metal holders and I said that it was too beautiful for self-control, because it was actually five dollars for the set. But THEN! It turned out that they were having a 50% off sale on housewares so it was REALLY only $2.50, and so I was very excited about my treasure and put it in the trunk of my car. However, because I do not have my own house to live in right now, I thought I would be giving and forget the gift, so I gave the set to a fellow ragger: Leslie McCollom, because I thought that she would appreciate it. AND SHE DID.   Speaking of presents, yesterday I also gave myself the present of the blue and green striped sweatshirt that I have coveted ever since I saw this 11 year old girl wearing it. And today my mom gave me the present of the giant sunglasses that she bought a long time ago. I also gave myself the present of coffee, in a Mickey Mouse themed 'Twas the Night Before Christmas mug which we got at the Disney store at Washington Square when I was in elementary school.  |
September 5How was your Labor Day? My Labor Day actually ended up being crazy. This is a long story about illing:After putting Kelly's things in Vancouver, we returned to the United States in Seattle for a couple of days. I went to Bumbershoot to meet with Kristen Hoskins, my former associate at my Old Job, and her man who is named Ben. Kristen put me on the Holmes Brothers list so I could see them one more time. Kristen and I saw Andrew Bird walk by us wearing a small brown tie and we got all squeally, but then immediately after he had entered our vicinity we were told we had to leave. I didn't care though. I have to say that I was not feeling very well, and I tried to cover this up with the backstage/VIP food. I think that this was ultimately my downfall. First, I drank 3 cups of coffee. Then, I started eating red vines. And chips. And then there was the ubiquitous Deli Tray that is in every rider. And a platter of giant hot dogs. I ate sliced cheeses and turkey, and did not even care. I followed this up with a tiny bottle of Aquafina from a refrigerator that said "Please only take two drinks per person." A guy from Saturday Night Live was there and now I can't remember his name, but he has glasses. Later in the evening I went to have pizza that I was not hungry for, and it was good, but I knew something was wrong. We watched The Warriors and an assortment of Kathryn's video class projects from her college days, and slept, and I had ridiculous nightmares. Then it was Labor Day, and after a fine breakfast Kelly had a conflict with Amtrak regarding her bicycle, which they ended up messing up anyway, so she had to take a later train and we went to the Value Village 50% off sale as a consolation. As this happened, I felt worse and worse and sat out on the sidewalk across the street to see if I would feel better, as inhaling the scent of thrift is not what soothes nausea. While on the sidewalk I watched a woman flagrantly litter an ice cream lid on the street, and then poke a hole in the plastic seal on top of a pint of Haagen Daz and just drink melted vanilla ice cream. The woman was totally wearing a t-shirt that said genuine antique person and she had the crazy eye. She spilled the ice cream down her shirt and also smoked some cigarettes, and had aggressive yelling talk at passersby. At one point she walked by me and I was like "Oh please Ice Cream Lady don't talk to me." Later, Julia came out of the Value Village and we saw the cops pull up, and they went into the store. Then Kelly came out of the store and she described an altercation she heard while in the fitting room, where apparently a customer called a clerk "gay" and then the clerk called the cops? That customer turned out to be none other than Ice Cream Lady! At this point Kelly wanted a cold beverage so we went into Purr across the street, which was advertising $2 drafts. I wanted ginger ale, but there was no ginger ale, so I drank soda and bitters on a red leather couch and stared into space, and then I went in the bathroom and puked up yellow breakfast. It went in my nose, and that was gross. I was crying a little and this woman looked at me in the bathroom while I was washing my hands. I thought in my head don't look at me crying looking at you not crying. My guts did not feel better like you should after you barf and that made me mad because that was the whole reason I let myself throw up. You know how you can feel nauseated for a long time and not give in? It was like that, until I gave in and regretted it. I got really sickly and couldn't do anything and Kelly and Julia bought me Pepto Bismol and purple Gatorade and Thomas Kemper Ginger Ale in the drug store on the way back to Julia's house. I lay down on the couch and Kelly had to go get her train to Canada and she said I was really pale, and I was like NO because it made me believe that I was really ill. Then I cried because I ruined Labor Day, and wasted food and soda and bitters, and couldn't even get up to say goodbye to Kelly. I lay on Julia's couch and shivered and watched the Wedding Singer while trying to be as still as possible and thought of all the things that could be wrong with me, like having E. Coli or Mad Cow Disease or multiple ulcers or extreme dehydration or like, infected vital organs, or something just crazy. And then I felt like dying, and I was sad because I was thinking about what would happen if I just died. I got mad because I haven't gotten emergency health insurance either. I was like, if I get really sick, is it worth it to go to the emergency room? That place is bling-a-ding. I called my parents and my mom said she would come pick me up in Seattle the next day, which was nice. I watched Idiocracy with Kathryn and Julia and I felt sad that I identified with the stupid people in the movie too well. I drank the purple Gatorade and it became the only thing I could taste in my mouth, but I could not handle the thought of putting water in my mouth. I tried to eat rice and soup and I felt mad at myself for not being able to. I thought THESE NICE GIRLS BOUGHT AND MADE ME THINGS AND MY BODY WON'T ACCEPT THEM, OH GOD HOW RUDE I FEEL. Kathryn took me back to her house because her roommate was still gone on vacation or something, so I could stay in her bed. Of course while brushing my teeth I got that pre-barf feeling, and I got all this spit in my mouth, and then I just totally barfed purple Gatorade and TheraFlu all over the toilet. I was like KATHRYN I'M SORRY FOR DEFILING YOUR HOME and she was like "No dude, do it. Do you want to sit down?" and I was like NOOO. A virus was ruining Labor Day, but it could not make me sit down in front of a toilet. The next morning I waited for my mom and watched Akeelah and the Bee, and I felt better and smarter, and I ate a lot of saltines. However, I am still not really all the way better and instead have just been dizzy and weird feeling and not hungry. Last night I watched Friday Night Lights with my dad for 4 hours on DVD, and it is really the best thing ever. I was blinking away tears about Matt Saracen treating his grandma nicely, and did not watch commercials. I hope that my body beats this virus to death. I want to ride my bike or go for a walk, but when I stand up my body is like "No I am still fighting for custody rights of your balance and vision." This did not stop me from driving my car down to have lunch with my grandparents today though. My mom just got her pupils dilated at an eye appointment and she was wearing this really excellent pair of sunglasses that are all giant like the Olsens wear. I asked her if they were new and she said no, they were from years and years ago, she just grabbed them because she could not find her real sunglasses. This is a video of me and Ben dancing in the street that Leslie took, my favorite part is how Ben shakes his head while he dances: Sibling Dance from Leslie McCollom and Vimeo. |